PREFACE
Sadness! oh god...
you know seems im running away -- almost every single day now
but i got trax on you now
i see your gravitation
your force
can see you coming closer
back into my circles
cant face you
so here atleast i can try to...
address you (wow, a coward!)
try to
get honest and face what im doing? what the fuck?
not always healthy
not always bad luck
following those
whose real? whats true? aww DOLORES!
you gotta leave me alone!
you deaf? me monotone
please damn near hear me?
please, drop a tear, so i know im not alone
no, i know you, how you work
topple me right over
capsize me. get mean!
aka drowning!
no, unh-ah,
im real - im eyes
i realize
this is not in the cards
not now (forgive me)
youre not welcome
not in this mind body spirit soul....
ecosystem of self? too fragile i feel
i feel it, i know it, the feeling too strong.
just listen and hear me, respect me then leave me!
sadness, please goddess! please sadness!
move on
please
someone else
may they tolerate
or up from zero
titrate
teardrop to soft rain
to gale force
hurricane you are!
so i ask, dear goddess! what to do?
i been ducking and dodging her, her black eyes follow me and want me to feel that pain i remember when not able to forget. the defenses? i been trying them! trying to protect!
my volatile line it up in the firing range and take her out? its missing. in absentia.
im losing it (what i have not lost!)
take her out before she takes my ass out. survival time...i know it
shes hanging over me heavy deep,
i worry so much im losing sleep.
BODY (OF TRUTH)
sadness is slow-like,
he fucks in his denim
cause he was so slow
to unbutton the fly?
because hes too busy
doing nothing but cry?
sadness i laugh at,
cause sadness just fears that
the laughter and loving
of the woman he wants...
he can have!
i just laugh at his thinking
because hes so sad
you laugh when the sadness
is so strong and tangible
like laughing
at funerals
or laughing
when diagnosed
with something unwanted
dreaded and terrible
the diss of your ease
uncomfortable fertile
we laugh at the doctors
whose faces like newsreels
american i mean
the kind loved by sadness
cbs and foxnews
ceo fear and sadfests
his handkerchiefs
are widely known
to be visited upon
networks
across the cable dial
sadness like walmart
eats the little ones
right up
single file!
eats the whole country
through lightboxes flat
and curries your curry
with salty teardrops in pots
he even merged with god
(as some people call it)
creating rain when they do bad
(or locusts when real bad)
sadness comes over
the ones holding bibles
i feel for them not
cause they chose the revival
King James, this is it!
in between the light boxes
they exclaim with some knowing
that escapes them like foxes
but mind over matter
their god brings them joy
colors their lenses
with pink label foie
gras that they eat
when they meet in old fashion
round tables where Judas
was once held
for fashion
me?
i choose eastern
old books for my brain wash
cause old testament
namesakes they...
got me so lost
like whose son of uncle
met aunts daughters baby
and created some guy
who parted seas
with the strength of two forties
(old english makes eighty)
ounces of power
to part the red seas
(or read that part there)
or give the old testament
a refresher
(lobotomy!)
dename the named
unify the dichotomy!
and the nameless run over
many whom were she
cause she was not equal
to man, in their lessons
i was taught to suck on his toes
in these sessions...
after the foot got washed
you suck them dry,
girls, and then birth
another one, (a man lets hope)
not the weaker of the sexes
but the dopest of the dope
now get steamrolled in 2000
by some puritan's lexus
he bought with your money
your parents gave him to care for you
even though his caring
feels like being under...
his shoe
the sole the easterners know
is dirty and dry
best keep it out of my face!
(if you wanna survive)
cause the buddha loves the women
they taught him kama sutra
he is grateful
he drops you in the pantheon
dropping you like knowledge
the goddess welcome anthem
not underground
nor lost
in third person male.
its natural
to say he him
before and after your
a-men
for women
are like W
followed by an omen
to our fancy men
we must make them beholden
not real aggro
but passive
aggressive is the way
no birkas to wear
just sexy lingerie
and teach them to shake it
like milk shakes in yards
to all of your friends
playing poke her --you know --
'cards'
and talking about her
like shes on the grill
serve her with butter
then cream...
then chill
in bed beside her
as she sucks your toes
and if she wont do that, well
'she sucks!'
case closed!
swear on the bible
this mis-nomer
passed to progeny
makes us lamer,
our culture,
its simply misogyney
so watch out for smart girls!
they arent sexy
watch out for arabs
cause they are too obvious
making women
how we learned
they all ought to be --
tied in a bow
and fucked behind
a tree
its natural
we love it
the thong rides her ass
we tap it like maple
served in flutes
with class
the passive aggressive
second class citizenship
they bestow
makes me load the gun gently
touch it
lightly
to his
toe
the big one
the target
the big toe ego
the big one
i sucked it
you suck now
go blow!
or join us
the women
you salivate your rivers for!
join us and watch us
cut out all indian givers!
another misnomer
the givers who take
the hypocrisy sucks up
like the tail of a snake
following the followers
down a loveless path
crank up our country radio
and jump in the bath
the goddess provides
bathe and reside
right here where fresh pussy
is yours !
here to ride!
cause we give it all
to the men who drop everything
religion and ego and all
that blows out sunshine
to see the world truly
in gray tones of glasses
(the women conveyed,
from macys with plastic.)
your credit is good
when you paid it due
become a real man
and bend down.
suck our toeringed
truths
then rise up stronger
stronger than imagined
cause goddess loves a man
who gives up all...
to follow passion
romance
in mouth of reality
a tunnel
of love likeness
cause we all hate to admit
that those we love
not always like
this
truth
set you free
and gets you her
panties
or is the marketing here
too much
truth be told?
it also sucks
because you will do
what you do irregardless
and all that i just wrote
is less
and less
like when i talk of giving
my ass to your taproot
selling my sex
like dominatrix
licking boot?
like i swallowed
the poison
just like you did?
can you blame me?
im sexual
i want this
to be what you see
which is why i take time
in front of the mirror
making faces
like divine
not no real
not this truth talk!
post feminist
gabba-pentin
devilish intellectual
drowning
manna from heaven
ruining the game!
like cash for clunkers
ruined escalades
suv gas sucking
head for the bunkers
fight for more oil
for no apparent reason
(call them old fashioned
cause birkas are in season)
looking outward not in
to the american systemic
girls hold it tight
so the game can go on --
act like integrity
is blocking his mental
from flossing your thong
see i have to admit
im systemic
mouthwash
american all over me
like wet tshirt...
yields cash
i want to sink into --
the sugardaddyscenario
live for getting tanner
and loving
testosterone
i wont sugar coat it
to feed my own ego,
stop talking about yours
oh my gosh -- im fainting! hold me!
theres a mouse on the stairs
and open that door
and buy me a cosmo
ill read you from magz
that get your hard
hard on
and ill know i must
take you
to be promised
a princess
pedispamanicureal
your thing?
how colossal!
will it cure
my talkcereal
of labels and girls
im jealous of all day?
(pinching myself
i must lose more weight)
what an embarrasment
carried over the threshold
he falls like the soldier
in O Stones 'Platoon'
cant take her weight, captain
shes taking on water
call the ambulance
call two!
(i slipped a disc
as i caught her)
a noble man trying
to trick up his princess
who wants it like this
and sucks in recess
like arab women too
and antarctican animals
the man is the hunter
and shes just delicious
but self-consciously so
is the human animal add-on
like some turn of the table
but really some fad on
the hypocrisy eclectic
and oh so electric!
so now i bend over
and take you inside
tell me who i am
and where i reside
miss mr i may i
or mother what to do?
do i step aside and let him
and act like i have no clue?
mother will give you the
advice that you need
be a well mannered young lady
and give him!
he needs!
i proudly present
my daughter in silk
easier to disrobe her
(she does not know
i worked the angle
removing her buttons
at most pressing places)
to assuage the ego
of my son in law she faces
i want her to know
you from deep within
(so i can live through it
and feel my own skin)
again
my daughter shes priceless!
she takes my advice!
when i say bend over
she wont think twice
shes been taught the asanas
of bikram yoga
she sweats in her underclothes
so to delight you
to stretch her
like laffy, the taffy
(she does not know
how i coached her)
to bend herself around you
pretty and thin and
to be taken
by your manhood
forsaken
to turn her eyes...
upward
in deep concentration
as she sees now her place
is to best be sensation
al you get busy
and train her some more
i want this one daughter
to turn out a whore!
(cause my bad side was repressed
when i was a girl
i raised her from scratch
shes like me then, a pearl)
and vicariously
now (she claps),
without admonition
i selflessly proclaim
her virginity --
in your
kitchen!
so flatten her belly
and wax that ass!
let her be the oven
play your games
on her grass!
invite your friends over
(hell use the webcams
so mom and dad
can look proudly
over your shoulder
at our little girl)
she will learn a lesson
and stop with her
tomboy routine and surrender
(or fight first to stop
your breath taking
manhood
into her mouth)
As it be, as it should!
and then she will sweat
her pure driven water
and i will command
'go for it!'
fuck my daughter!
and she will squeal
feeling betrayal
and i will smile
and watch you fuck
her--right at the table
with all family around
so she knows her place
missionary style
while we all say grace
and then come the clothes
as her attitude adjusts
and she gets on all fours
delivered in trust
in trusses
or corsets
whatever!
make her a milkmaid
come on now!
get clever!
help her enjoy
her new calling
or we will put her on the streets
if you start to stalling
or answering her prayers
to let her be free
and become what she wanted
a keeper of bees??
no daughter of mine
will take away my passion
by wearing a suit
of metal?
wheres the fashion?
no tomboy will be
in my family tree!
mini skirts will do
hell- charge a fee!
to put it in stone
this mothers secret desire
(this repressed puritan woman
who once sang with choir
and gave birth to the child
the one youve been given)
to unleash her wild side
and it will be written;
like mother like daughter
cathartically sexual:
opening legs
both horizontal
and vertical
to cover all bases
and be for all men
lefty? no problem
squeeze her tits
to no end
for they wont discriminate
at which hand you use
the other runs deep up
her little miss oven boo!
when she comes running to mama
to tell me her stories
about how you raped her and lent
her to friends
i will say '
honey, on this we depend,
your tricking
your treat
and princesses feet
must be for the family!'
the dutiful bound
we are aware
how he treats you
we think it is sound
we want you fresh fucked
like you are now, wet cheeked
crying because you miss
feeling him embracing you whole
and making you give up
your body and soul
to the moans that we hear
through the walls so thin
your father is rooting
and coming again
after years of a drought
your poor mother has suffered
i brought you in this world
(and yes it gets tougher)
your grown now and lean
and for you he fiends
you brighten us all
when you bend over--
so clean!
fresh and tan princess
be our star!
smoke his well smoke his well smoke his --cigar!
and stop worrying now
your pretty little head
your place is decided
in thongs in the bed
dont make us cuff you
and start bondage games
youre not ready yet
(though that is in sight)
just like his cock loaded
so full at you aimed,
smile and take it
and clean the windowpanes!
so we can all see
and be proud of you now
showing your tits
and moaning
oh how!
EPILOGUE
sadness he flaunts his miserable condition
hes petty and immature
his science is fiction
the labcoats they ponder
a pharmaceutical response
to the efforts of sadness
to burn us like friction.
sadness once had me,
he took me to dinner
he fed me champagne
he looked like a winner
i raised up naively
like that boy, son of the champ
in that movie about boxing
and the boy son of champ
his light eyes so shining
to watch his hero dad
beat men to the canvas
the boy smile- clad
and sadness clandestine
took over the tape
the film switched so quickly
like tarantinos french cinema lady
conspiring against evil
the way we must
fight sadness
switch our own tape
and create sunshine madness
each day that we wake
the opportunity arises
to get past our sadness
with happy madness disguises
shoot rays of sunshine
out of our palm (pilots)
if its not been reviven
our joy
we revive this
or should i say arisen
like the sun every day
we make our own choices
and lie in the hay
or the muck or our own mindbend
when sadness is feared
it tears at our liver
and heart
alas
been speared.
so make todays sadness
tommorrows yesterday
ya know
stick with the goddess
and let your aura
glow
Katya is here
to lighten your spleen
my crazy poems
are here for you to lean
on
ill bake you a cake
wont taste very good
but sadness wont happen
caused i burned him for good
he may strike me down
tommorrow with his muscles
but only if i let him
to fake out
a tussle
because all the battles
he might think he won
are lost in the everlasting
warmth
i feel in the sun
of you my friend who cares
enough to put down your hotdog
to key up this microlog
like an internet dog
hunting for this Kat
ya
because im worth the hunt
ill blow sunshine up your asses
and ladies up your cunt
see now thats not polite
and could fill one with sadness
if they thought about my mouth
all awash with soap and gagness
and that i would need
to be
so crass and disgusting
must make the virgins frown
from the bleach esophageal kings
they worship at home
taking all abuse
when they pass soda gas
and the king
lent an ear
then thrashed out
'no class!'
so they douched and they douched
all awhile smiling
but sadness i see him
hes not even hiding
because to be real
you gotta be worn out
to be real
you gotta get the realwords
out
even if they sound crass
like Katyas vernacular
coming around the corner
of the dogchase
spectacular
the shadow i wont run from
just the doggy dogs that i know
and shoot my rays of sunlight
up to the flow of Tao
wow
the goddess she is with me
i feel her coming over
i will open up my chakra
and let the lover love her
within me to without
part of my aura
no doubt
sadness just a memory
over which i scream
and shout!
my life
my life
my life!
in the
SUN
SHINE
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