adrienne and may the faded

and may i ...

never
ever
neverever
have to
be so


fix
fixed
frozen
focused

to
til
until

hyper
hypervent
hyperventilated

edge
edgy
child
desire
adult
adulterated

cease!
cess
or
censor
in
cense
incensed!
sensed

sense
or
less
senseless
senselessness!

my movements

every
single
soul
less
self
less
lessened
loosened
loose
ends

tied
tight

the
end
the
adrenalin

dear
adrienne!
nalin
nail
null
nulled

- 0 +
in
to
into
toward
to get it!
have
hold it!

fill
feel
fall

hold it
how?
hold it now!

and then...

cry
cried
breathe
breathing
shallow

shall
allow--

hit it!
!
(!)
()
ow
((oww))))
awww

'impalace' 09-10  kwm author / kkila edit

ahh
/
//
//// low \
allow
all low
hall -/-/-/----

hollow
0

on
 traumatic
repetition
of
dramatic
indulged
misguided
miss
missing
miss inge
ingen
in gen
genx
x rated
xrated
x

deflated
x
xx
xxx

drop
out.
fade.
fate
fast
fated --

forgiven,
forgotton...
and

faded

--
Katya

peacock parallel. II of II

• peacock parallel. II of II
• Some held on to the heart against the tide of opportunists comin in waves, imploring, fronting weak currency, and invitations to postmodern raves... 
• If you’re green, they offer you TLC, measure your accounts wide and generous to match your pre-disposition. and you become you-with-a-twist, like you in the hottest djs androgynous demolition mix.

• you might like your new self, well I’m sure. (a good representation of your gendereckless world, of the highest moral irreverence and lowest on the brainwash standardized academic scale).  And rather than dumb you down, you got street wise, anyone says otherwise is a clown.

are there pharmaceuticals in your purse? what? for your current need...or your malingering desire. you have your ready line?  ativan for emergency purposes, stress of flat tires on the side of highway, broken down, when the anxiety hits you like a live wire. they suspect you now sing bare and tone, in the klonopin choir.

 
years and years of tales of  those who sanctioned such impurities, traded off for karmic insecurity.  late night throw-downs at quarterly earning heights, forcing our moms and pops to open shops for genx non-events.  taste testing of researched synergies of  astral planes. backstage passes for old ladies who run the indoor mood stabilization track. 

Lamictal-ly immersed, Valproic proclivity, then some pill co. announced the end of confidentiality. As a celebration, of course, freedom from your secrets. The parties endless, the movie screens raped, the ad campaign put out, all of this was taped.

Models skirts go up,  all the boys shout. Eyes  narrow. Under the ampsalt rush of 30ccs gone straight to the marrow. wannabe Mia Farrow. she saw them inject her ex-husband. she saw his response. she saw the new light in his eyes. just before she would no longer know him. of a thousand different ways they would interact... not once could she know him.
everyone needs a little help when rivers of same source break the parallel in-aqua-cess-ence in the pool, in the mix. Shadows embracing in the light, sent back to the dark to fade out to darkness and move unseen in untold darkness of controlled space night. no light. ..a quiet place... Toward the steady length of shadow, most refuse to look! Those spun into vertigo, spun away, invertigone! The black lights set upon. The white flags demarquing orgies canvassed the fertile land near dawn.

Below the pleasant scenery lay the unseen and even trampled on the ground. That was not okay. So it was pressed until it seemed hidden. Still it remained, unseen. This was okay somehow.

But it all started so harmlessly, the evening! out to dine merger, fine starched shirts, table red wine, Italian restaurants: joie de vivre! every cut of bone yard on the menu: eye of rib, filet for broiler. an establishment of potent sociopathy pervading dark halls, and smiles alike left plastered on the walls. 

*

Katya 2010

Future leaders of the world, hear this: bloodshed is no foreign element to those who have it all!

eastern edge of western world, may she be so very sharp yet non-violent. meet the west in a flash! submit? -- NOT AT ALL.
any less would be cowards fare, stress, paranoia, the fall of truth. pulling of teeth. pulling of hair. why suffer here? just be aware. they want you to get dirty, down on your knees, so to support their understanding of the abject poverty of your ideas, your philosophies, your creed, they look upon with contempt. they reach for something they believe lies above them. like sky worshippers posed out! like skinny models situated in hipsters! you are the shredded silks and rayon they pick like berries. try you on.  Okay you may send in the children. Now go. Go stare at them meditatively. 

Okay okay. Some may slumber in good thoughts of their own honorable installments. Do not forget you must be sharp! crush them (gabapentin) and get neurons back on pathways . Sir? Ma’am? as the evening progresses, why not? stare back at their focused a-style stares. seek invitation to penthouse superior lairs. enjoy yourselves. pharmaceutically. without cares.

Liquid cooled chairs. political minds refined to mastery. narcissistic-friendly egos. hand jobs for logos. Printed all over the ass of their vestments.
Assuage the suede macrophage, esophageal bellowed cause of contented singularities -- quelle dommage! 
Can it get more confusing? Add astrological anomalies to your day. Triple Taurus 3-play. Will wrongdoing become self-evident? Will you get up and do all the doing? they sit contented, its the law. while you work hard and get paid and settle vices and poison self, with whatevers below ascent to top shelf. The rules only they can bend. They  are not actual: just present to you as friends.

Perched on skyscraper bars, buying rounds alternately and with a quick tempo... mindful in the moment to decease some person, place, or unmedicated idea. Before being called upon to surrender keys to their model year foreign luxe cars, they weigh their kilos, smoke their cigars.
The ones who tell you they will sell your wares? do you fall into line? fall into the easy rhythm,  pull out their chairs?  the laughter-- is it to be mistaken for the source of shed so many tears? their hot dry airs exhaust and exhaust.  it wears.  pret-a-porter in that apathetic kind of who cares kind of you gotta be kidding sorta way.
For conscious one and all to ignore such a sight was not possible. the language that came forth between the lines of the foreheads peripheral? always of a demanding nature toward a hopeless situation. yet hidden under shock of hair, the shock that filled the air. questions of conduct. and the paperwork that backed it. legal parameters sorted, stapled and faxed it.

Familiar. with contempt. they came out of the boardroom with erections and pro phalactics. not to mention shady tactics. they would wait to rise on gasses internal, to covet passes to VIP eternal.

The peacocks! the Tit-E fuckers! On all 2s to subjugate those on all 4s! Behold them in seersuckers.to grasp young ankles in between world tours!
We almost expected lobotomy to answer to the ongoing global mental health crisis of collective unconscious non-economy. All solution was subject to dilution with consequential pollution to cloud any vision. Less and less clear to the most compassionate of providers, whatever any kind of thoughtful conclusion.  no one could see the forest, no one could see the trees. Under heavy bank of pharmaceutical cloud- E. The peacocks put their colors on the line - ya -- strip tease. just the knife going in deeper, it seemed. all reasonable careful internationally branded plans shredded. fin.

or does it ever end? forgetful, must we begin again? try harder? go farther. excavate all around the central lobe. Cavity produced by the TV...

Props to you who missed the parade deliberately ... you who knew better how to cope ... (oxytocin, the last of the wild, the dope) you who stayed in bed and got laid.

stop throwing branded claymation at generic nation

think before you throw this.  please. think until your emotions  rest, come to peace. the foundation will not be lost, the cause will still hold true. do not let that tick of time push push push you to some unsatisfactory way of doing. reaction too hot. requires some recalibrating, some cooling. some vacant nature grown through asphalt urban lot...

turning blue now, the way we do now. shadows maybe, evening maybe fall. the pine trees stand so tall, so very tall. and we sway like this, side to side, side and back, our capillary needles, little felt at the micro essential level, waving just waving yes-- waving like any head of any state whose driven, woven up and down by the town the city  embraces this your arcade, your motor arcade, your esplenada ticker tape remoulade.

southern shore color pink. pale pink with a neon craving. your feel you feeling the comfort of the cushion of the cloud softened sky and milk softened bourbon and faces softening and melting like ice cream in the heat of the lone star in the sky kind of intimate kind of relating kind of day kind of way, down yes down your special silk socks curbed with velvet and heeled out with suede so fine could walk you on the moon, they say, could walk you on the moon, bay bay.

turning yellow now like sunshine the coin and the dime silver coat drip off the copper. and she throws the clothes all around your face before you like to get your attention, snaps the linens torn off the cord in the yard you stretched in a gesture of non-violence.  familys longjohns dryin in the yellow sundrip, kissed by the sun, the solar lip trip - you gonna get when she next stages the biblical reading over your head and over the land, oh men. man. woman. sundress and sundries. yellow gold hues deep as the living gray yellows of tidal pool sucking sand. let her leave you and join the band, go far on tour. read her love notes and splash through her pretty pictures as you roll around half-in-love with your hardwood floor.

turning red. turning pink. turning pale yellow like some late fifties pontiac sold off to Cuba, buried in the ground with harleys and then unearthed and found, naturally preserved treasures of the earth, vive la difference. vive la net worth. when cuba libre gets diluted, thats when all goes to hell, you know....

when cuba libre gets diluted
when american dollar became something worth more than your local currency
when velvet underground became pop rox
when someone with a passionate voice is told to kick rocks
when we let go of our dreams, it seems
when the fear smacks us like million candle power light beams
when the plastic mould meets old steel mill, oversold
when appalachia meets media whore
and takes her on,  on tour. takes her cause he can...

when the red carpet takes on the other colors
the colors of yours and mine
cause you are ready to go
and you told me so
its been a half hour
and you thought i should know
so

i guess now i know
fuck
now i know
now ....

<>   -Katya 2010

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