Probably should not enter here, a familiar yet faraway voice
offers. The voice triggers the visual. A question mark which appears
like clockwork (after the voice), like a music applications italicized
version suggesting living motion or audible quality conveyed via
italics. The image of a question mark in lights and stripes in motion
like a barber shop's shingle, barber shop's cylinder of red, white, blue
and light.
The aforementioned visual appears before
her eyes, our young single white female. She faced the intensity of the
light and felt the uncensored whole of what emanated. She opened up to
the real, which in turn dropped on her in direct correspondence to the
level of her openness, the very real. When real became very real, her
eyes opened ever more, from almond shape to marble, it the ameliorated
states.
Real and animated against the terrain in front of
her. She could dissociate from her environment without losing any connect. Widescreen landscape between her long unpainted lashes. She
watches as it spirals, grows, then shrinks away. The question mark is
really a loose rendition: and becomes less finite and more lifelike as
it swells out and moves gingerly yet with cautious expansiveness through
her wide eyed blue ice sky twilight desert land. Crisp and sharp
picture, without humidity. This was and is and will be the only visual
she associated with this particular voice. Who the hell knows why.
Unfortunately
(or fortunately) she does not have time to figure it out, decipher its
meaning or relevance to her, and she had neither interest or money to
pay some PI or psychiatrist or cinematographer or surveyor to do the
work for her.
The thought hardly crossed her mind to hire
anyone ever to do anything for her. She never had and probably never
would. Very DIY by nature. She inherently disagreed with the tax system,
though she paid into it. She advocated for a system with allowances for
payment by not only checking accounts and money orders, but payment by
community service hours. The dollar bill, though convenient and
necessary in many situations she faced, on the macro level she saw how
money exchange in the capitalist sytem robbed people of opportunities to
put the mind and body and spirit into play.
Which to her was the marrow
of life blood.
to be continued...
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