fractured

 I get fractured. I mean my personality. When I was younger and resilient, the tendency was like bruising, you know, out in the schoolyard it was no big deal to get rough in play and actually hit the ground and get dirty and bruised with the boys and the tomboys like myself, but when I say the tendency was bruising I mean the way that kids start forming alliances and sometimes shut you out, okay, now bruised, or if you got into it with one other kid and words exchanged and pushing and getting pushed around, but all the verbal lacerations, well, for me they just were bruises, because I could go home at night to a loving family, you see, so all was well with me back then. Today it's not the same, today I'm fractured. I don't have the loving family to come home to, anymore. I think subconsciously I choose to be alone. I need to be alone more and more each day, or so it seems, for when I go out there and things get rough with friends and personalities, well, I'm just not so resilient anymore.