Maze 2:10:4 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 10

Part 4

In the last episode 2:10:3 Ame talks about the weakness people have for a good front end sales job of body permanence. She is bothered to see that Maze has a soft spot in his heart for Hollows.

Cover Reveal! - Book 3

Here is the cover for Book #3  in my ongoing series of literary fiction. I anticipate releasing this book in late Spring or early Summer, 2016. Book One is now free!  -- DOWNLOAD GRAND THEFT LIFE --

trax

the weekend came
with rain and the grasses fantasy
green

reality was dishes
was rent and quarter
moons and abrasive

the train tracks are so
godddam polished

when the weather clears
i think i will go eat lunch
on them

or paint my nails
or lay my spine out
or straddle them in denim
and ride them

choo choo
like a freak

or follow the vibration
to the end of
the world

like church bells
like prayer

like god was in doing
the thing which
when done

made you smile
shut up and
write

Maze 2:10:3 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 10

Part 3

In the last episode 2:10:2 Maze holds down a teenage Hollow while Ame gets to the bottom of him and formulates a spell of wholeness. 

FAVE QUOTES FROM READERS OF MAZE

Readers of my book Maze have submitted some of their favorite quotes from the text. I thought I would share them, and thank you to those who shared them with me!

"When life is no longer a mystery, you’re history."

"God and the mayor had not paid a visit for a long time."

"burning against the streets beneath a careless sky drained of the deep blues of dawn."

"while the Pakistani who worked the desk was spilling diatribe like a mattress cut open on the side of the road, sharing his dislike for us freely."

"I swear next time he blew a gasket I would find a special natural consequence to administer."

"a real megalomaniac or my name is Jung"

"If human consciousness was a flickering candle, Black knew how to play the wax so it was always in danger of being extinguished."

"We show loving kindness to allies, neutrality to strangers, and prayers for the ones get in our way."

"The Pakis had an immutable contract with Black, coerced by his oil slick off their narrow road of regulations, his power and trade, fronting with his fine threads and stature and sweet-talking manner of murderous things."

"that was me and Bless, the way we shuffled the whole deck of cards or drew from of the deck the numbers our numbers, the aces, the deuces you see, when one becomes two and two becomes three."

"Everyone knew (presumed) that those who ask for help are not truly in need, because those who are truly in need do not ask for help. The American ways were peculiar."

"Whatever nails I grew faced a life colliding with skin and pavement, denim and teeth."

"…if I had to guess my soft skin and the sugar juxtaposed against brick and mortar turned him on"

"Freddy had drawn, into the van for some sneaker chiropractics, pushers and hustlers and junkies and escorts, former husbands and wives and church-going people, please, can a sea change fall from the sky?"

Maze is available for your reading pleasure 

on Amazon @ amazon.com/Katya-Mills

Maze 2:10:2 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 10

Part 2

In the last episode 2:10:1 Ame details the curious love affair she has with Maze, moodswings which take them from the highest of highs to dangerous lows where they seem strangers to one another and the pain is so great he cuts on himself to relieve it. 

Maze 2:10:1 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 10

Part 1

In the last episode 2:9:5 the young Kell has a showdown with her uncles in the woods and speaks to the atrocities she has seen. The hardest most disturbing part is coming to grips with her own identity.

embracing your feedback loop parfait

There are days here and there where i really don't care for myself, i mean, who i've become and what life has put me through does not appeal to any old romantic self imaginings. Thinking about it won't change anything. All i can do is push on and try and kick ass today. Then i can feel good about myself. I wish you all the best, also, in embracing all of who you are, including the part of you that might be reclusive, antisocial, stubborn, emotional, scared, especially scared, lazy, unfriendly sometimes, even downright stupid or mean. So long as you go back and try to mend any harms. To yourself may you be a friend today. Push on and kick ass into tomorrow.

Maze 2:9:5 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 5

In the last episode 2:9:4 a man begins following Kell and she hides. When he finds her she discovers he  was sent to lead her to her uncles, Delux.

be the star you are the star you are the star

Let them discover you my sweetness my friend and be the star you are in this solar system holds a premium on light so all you gotta do is shine and you can but do not have to self-promote or boost or market yourself or your shining when all you gotta do is shine bright is be the star you are the star you are the star

ill see you in the light  xxo  K

Maze 2:9:4 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 4

In the last episode 2:9:3 Kell (still a kid) goes out to see what her uncles are up to, and discovers a terrible crime scene. 

Maze 2:9:3 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 3

In the last episode 2:9:2 we visit Kell as a kid in borderland, Texas. She's rebellious. Spirited. She cannot just sit around with the women while the men are out at night doing god knows what. So she decides to follow her uncles out into the night, to see for herself.

Maze 2:9:2 storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 2

In the last episode 2:9:1 Kell's childhood is discussed, including her fondness for birds and snakes and the delight she takes in terrifying people.

pervasive sustainable organic sweetness

I was at a local cafe watching how friendly the barista was with everyone and me. She makes you feel like you have a personal connection, you feel loved. For women and kids (and a few men), she comes around the counter to give you a hug. I almost felt cheated to see that I was not the only one. How dare you love them like you love me. She put extra caramel in my macchiato, though, so I decided not to slap her face. She was tall and black and thin, and possibly transgender. Sweetness pervaded everything she touched. I trolled the bottoms of my cup with a straw to suck it up. I tried to listen to my friend who was monopolizing the conversation today. But I liked to listen to her, she was smart and funny, and I was tired of listening to the voices in my head. They weren't very nice. Not today. They wanted me to know what a loser I am. They haunted me with the trainwreck of my past. More people came in and got more love. If it wasn't for the caffeine and extra caramel, I would have made a scene. I could see they all thought they were special, too. Oh boy was I gonna put Sweetness on front street! My friend was talking about her husband and how he left his car unlocked and someone rifled through it and stole from him. She couldn't understand how he could complain about it, when he was the one who left it unlocked. Apparently if you don't secure yourself and your property in this world, you deserve to get jacked. I was not myself. I was more like a little bit of everyone around me. A little bit jaded. A little bit agitated. Even a little sweet. I needed to go out in the rain and get wet. Maybe I could imagine it was purifying me. I drove home enjoying the perfection of my new windshield wipers. Imagine life without windshield wipers. How exciting! You would have to roll down your window and poke your head out the side so you could see through your leather and glass goggles. When I got home, I stayed in and read the latest Stephen King book. Head candy. For breakfast I fried the eggs too long. All I could taste was the bacon and hot sauce. Someone blew someone up somewhere today. I heard a screeching scream and went out to see what was the matter. A gargantuan black cat was tormenting my kitten. Of course he took off when he saw me. Bully. I picked up my kitten and brought him inside. It's okay, honey, you're safe. That big mean old cat! If I could get my hands on him. I put my arms around him and kissed him on his spine and face. I smoothed out his fur and talked to him. Sweetness. If only we could all stay there for awhile. In our own pervasive sustainable organic sweetness.

Maze 2:9:1 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 1

In the last episode 2:8:4  Kell moves into the Imperial with Bless and Freddy and they all celebrate by going bowling together. Bless overlooks her competitive instinct and lets Kell and Ame win a round.

the crime scene is permanent

Her great eyes fall on us
while we are looking

the medium

the monster

we give our all
to thank her
for the ocean

lackluster commentary
washes up on the shore

the droppings
of opinion
hit and run
hit and run

the crime scene
is permanent

she spreads us
lost and luster
thin sometimes

in a minute hand's
wide circling
lenient spin
sometimes

we do it
to ourselves

the hours
artfully wasted
the body
hardly moves

text necking in our photo
editing booths

manipulating
the age off our faces

pixel worship
while life gets scarier
out there

help me
i have forgotten
what's real

i don't wanna regret
all this screen time
like some washed up
porn star

 even that
must be real

god let me fall back
laughing in your arms

at a bar
at a laundromat
smoking reds

caring

Latest Review of Maze

Maze (Daughter of Darkness, #2) 
by Katya Mills (Goodreads author)

Patrick H  review 

5 of 5 stars

it was amazing

Recommended for: anyone.

Read on December 01, 2015 — I own a copy

This is the second book about the protagonist, Ame. The first was Grand Theft Life. I fell in love with Ame in the first book and had been waiting impatiently to find out what had been going on with her. Ame is not human, but is a member of a human looking race that preys on us. It seems almost like vampirism, with some of the same mental abilities, except they feed on our fear instead of our blood. The book is set in the San Francisco Bay area, mostly in Oakland, and is wonderful. The cast of characters includes her mentor Freddy, her skater boyfriend Maze, and her girlfriend Bless. The relationships are push-pull/love-hate, with the loving Ame being willing to excuse almost any behaviour in people she has given her heart to. She has such a pure clean heart it is impossible not to love her even as she stalks.
Reading Katya's writing is like listening to bepop jazz. It is the most amazing writing. The lines jump and dance with long lines interspersed with short bursty phrases. I've never read another author that writes like her. Her main characters, I think, by our standards would be bebop punk crazy psychic mental vampires and her use of language communicates that. They don't think like we do. She takes me into a different mindset where every crazy thing makes sense. Oh I love this book. I can't wait for the next one.

Ame & the Tangy Energetic

(a genuine teaser)

I could soak right through her skin, caught in the grip of the city, and live there if she let me, protected and she did, my sister,  going over her lung capacity inhaling, then giving me her lips and taking in the deep river of air. Segue from there. And I began to cry when I first saw through her eyes, okay, the place had been blasted apart and made a clearing, my pupils were pinning and dilating, pulsing as I really got into her, how uncommon the  hopeful pain, starvation and loss for so long, god, Kell, where didya come from? She was right here, beside me, her breasts pressed up against my ribs, our bellies greeting through our clothes, what  hips we had trying to push around, and she started to catch the tears on a fingerprint, getting closer, cupping a hand to my face and though she let me inside, she was not aware how deep I was gonna go, her fingertips she took to her lips and already salt. I would make her thirsty, all feeling her dying and coming back to life and knowing now the interior of addiction and then come clean. I took a simple breath just beyond my lung capacity, made dangerous, then kissed her a hit of my inner madness, and came back to myself with a gasping kind of whistle. She covered her mouth and laughed. There’s a comedian in all of us. I had to crouch down to the floor so blown away by the difference in her and me, and really the influence she had on me, I mean her life, as it came to me in flashbacks, and she crouched down beside me wondering was I gonna be okay. Hiding the smile I gave her, of me. I fell on my knees on the floor and threw my arms around her. God, you are so goddam wonderful. How can you be so wonderful? Looking into the green and wondering reflective pools of her eyes. Like you saw the swamp and survived and it made ya an emerald by its burn, ya, butterflies flew you up and outta that sewer. Catfish gasping for air and feeling for the bottom.  Goddam. A million particles of mulch. The rays of the sun as though caught under ice, bounce around until smothered by the anaerobic. The fish that thrive are all muscle and gray as a country mare. So rubbery they could make for playground balls if you stitched up their mouths. Slippery when dry. All you need to know. Not many survived the swamp, but she did. My Kell. Don’t cross her. I will fuck you up. We cut our teeth on the horns of bulls. Such is why she can go emo and the world will go with her, rainclouds forming and air churning, and a foggy sadness making clarity in your head. 

Writers On the Air

Writers On the Air: Writers On the Air: A group of dedicated writers and word artists committed to adding their voices to the Sacramento word art community. I am excited to be joining this new local community so I can expand my horizons and get my voice out on the airwaves in my home town. Should be good to meet up and talk about creative process and perhaps create and write together.

Maze 2:8:4 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 8

Part 4

In the last episode 2:8:3 Ame and Kell go to San Francisco for kicks and dependencies.

Maze 2:8:3 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 8

Part 3

In the last episode 2:8:2 Ame coaxes Kell out into the world.

tales

© KatYa, 2016

i flipped a yellow coin
and i cannot tell you
heads or tails
cause i didn't care
to look

oh i was reckless once
going into the streets
with money
with desire to get high
meeting strangers
not caring about the
outcome

those days are over
i got tails

and i got tales
to tell

the disparate two. me and you

You have a life to live. So please live it. Go. There is no other way and no one can say. You do what's in your heart. Then, after you have traveled all over this world, come back to me with your bad self, so many mistakes, give me your wet eyes, i will give you mine. Lemme see your fresh ink, take off my glasses and follow your scars with my fingers, may I come back to you, now. The disparate two, me and you. What I remember and more - a whistle - The kettle is calling. Come, let us go to the kitchen where I can see you in the better light.

Latest Review of Grand Theft Life

Grand Theft Life (Daughter of Darkness, # 1)
by Katya Mills (Goodreads Author)

 

Jo Sorrell's review 

Jan 07, 16

really liked it

bookshelves: 2016

Read from January 03, 2015 to January 07, 2016

This book is incredible. The writing style is like nothing I have ever read. It is extremely intellectual and creative.

Her name is Ame; she's fast, adopted, weird, loved by her parents and a delinquent. Ame knows she's unusual. Afterall, she has voices in her head that talk to her. Not like a conscience; her head voices are real. One day Ame is suddenly abducted from her home to the underworld. Through this, she enters present day Oakland, California. She joins a diverse group of folks with extraordinary capabilities. While Ame is certainly fearful, she enjoys the mysterious and wonderful experienced. Where, she once felt like an outcast, she is now feels embraced by her new friends. She soon forms a bond with Freddy, the one who kidnapped her to bring her home. Here is where she meets a tall, abrasive girl and finds a sister in Bless. They befriend a young punk with a skateboard and a serious love of ice cream sandwiches. Her new friends and associations nurture her and she feels a co dependency for once in her life. Together they roam the streets, encountering humans and spirits. "The alchemy is in her blood."

thank you and i mean you

© KatYa

i am nothing and though this belief
if announced to mom or dad or brother
or aunt or nephew or niece would
get a hurtful or dismissive response
i would imagine for i do not dare
tell them but

i am nothing and when i am nothing
and can feel all my atoms spacing
feel all the roominess in there and
wanna rent it out well

i am nothing what would i do with
money it just collects slowly in my
checking account which i do not
know exists until i swipe a card so
i can get something to eat or to read
or to feed my sprawling head

i am nothing again tonight and only
you only you only you may get it
when it leaves my lips and smile
and touch my clasped hands on the
table between us in the bar in the
library in between all the words we
dare to share

and smile and say
so what do you have for us today
Katya?

like flowers

When I wasn't busy fighting for your attention, I was championing my own, to exist in space undisturbed by visual and audio cues. Social media was some hallucination. You could call it a hallucination inside of a hallucination. Any moment one could lose one's body and have to shop around for another one. Humans are like flowers and get erect in the sun. Out of bed. You cannot always see the roots. Black flowers like skin color get the shaft. White flowers went to weddings and funerals. Baby's breath was a delicacy, trembling in a fragile atmosphere. Fertilizer might help like steroids and hormones and minerals and daily chewable gummy vitamins. But sun and water usually did the trick by themselves. Only for a while, though, cause ultimately we all got mowed down or strangled by some or other weed. But hey. No worries. We will rise up again. Hopefully our passwords will still be saved so we can access all our friends.

UNTITLED OR 2015 IN 2016

by Katya

i was weary yesterday and
 better last night i gave up
 this morning digesting
                        carbs
                        painfully

hating myself
like last year

im better tonight
im better for me so
 better for you

happy new year what's
new about it?

i was once a bedwetter
lost my pride and found it
i was better without it

bedwetter without it

can we make myself fresh
can i make ourselves clear
and then what's in there?

you are
you are love and not
loving me

ok

goddam abstract off
the wall

watch where you place our eyes
please

love myself once
the carbs are blown up
gimme a scone

like last year stumbling through
self publication

i am better
without it

Maze 2:8:2 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 8

Part 2

In the last episode 2:8:1 the narrator shares some of Kell's history, 'the true pale blue with sad green eyes', her struggle with oxycontin addiction and failed efforts to get help in the past, the doctor shopping, determined to push dopamine to the brain. 

cavity

the past is plagued with
misunderstandings

(some poets)
i mean explorers

still wanna listen to you
shouting up from the
darkness

having found
it

fluoride and baking
soda does tar

save us from a family
to feed (the hungry dentist)

the cavities
still somewhere below
the crown

then how i tap upon
the mysterious
hollow

whats inside

let us rediscover!
the land of empty
self

you cannot fight her. she's the ocean

i went to the ocean and crashed into a giant wave; it was like a slate wall, transparent green. i had only a white undershirt on when we collided and black boyshorts underneath, and the wave did not hurt but it slapped and broke into many liquid particles which could not be traced but pulled my hair down and stuck to my face and neck which felt pretty good, and beneath me everything was undulating with a calling, sucking motion, calling me, fizzing, and i was not scared though i was unlike the giant scaly bodies underwater, deeper out; i knew she would not hurt anyone unless they fought back, you cannot fight her she's the ocean. i did not break in my black and whites, in the rainy day greens and blues of the undertow, i just stayed together and let the ocean cry and pull me, and the salt to dry in the bubbling nest of spit and foam. i went with the ocean and i guess i disappeared, i mean the earth did not know me, nobody looked for me, or if they did they did not find me, but someone missed me, somewhere, i just know it. i could feel them and saw them in my routine kelp readings thereafter. Mostly it was my family, so far away but still caring and loving me a lot, maybe more than i would know, the otters suggested, teaching me the art of cracking mussels. i lay my head on a current, listening to the ocean, and traveled to new lands never before known, in a sea bubbling like soda, the many colors peeking up off the crests of the waves crashing inward far from us on the inside looking back to the shore, and the earth now was scary, dropping off of the level, and the sky quite unfeeling, unhelpful at best, but we didn't care... and i slept peacefully, peacefully, there.

-KatYa, 2016

Song 2016

Thanks to everyone for visiting my website
and supporting my work all year long!
I am SO grateful.

Here's a song i recorded for you...