the seconds

will you stop for a moment, dear sir, madame?
please for a fraction of
my soul

hk is special

the west and east have always been mirrors. one
sees its autonomy and corruption by the
other. sees its purity and constriction
by the other. sees its integration
in the rare and magical city
where reflections dissolve
and berlin may be
envious

hk. hong
kong

aka, psi.

pressures got relieved when you
weren't so full of air. there was always the threat
of surface area being
punctured

territorial pissing
this high psi life has
to go...     

          gimme a bicycle
two wheels and a pension
and an endless path
through a forest

limit.less

limitless hours over and under ground. writing
and what 4. to sustain the hope that someday
one could craft a transmission
would be well received?

let me get up
drag a comb through the hair
pull on the boots
button up the shirt
draw the belt firm across
the waist

step out on the landing
and live! 4 this is worth
the risk

emergenc.y

my thoughts spoke for themselves my
 feelings could scarcely be
contained

anytime of triumph of the spirit
looked rather sloppy and
unsophisticated

photo by katya

this

the insecurity of youth has passed

its hunger for identity
and dearth of belonging

oh! to feel this much

(closer to
home)

journal 10.24

i am older now and not without aches and pain
and i can feel what i've been through in them
so it's not so bad.

kinda tells me what i'm made of

lost with you

staying up late into the night and still
early for you. i am listening to the world series
fills the room with sunshine in the muted

waves of sound

the away team has won every game and my heart
can still hear yours. you would laugh at me

for sure, to call the hour
late

we would be just getting started

out looking for videotapes and alleyway treasures
and trouble

in five days we turn time back again
will we remember, you and me?
we strung out different images

off the same
perspective and
none of it looked real

all i have to say is that i cannot forget
what happened. getting lost
with you

getting lost
changed my life

october. california

fall the fields arid
dry. the vineyards patched out
from the sky

we worry the wind
we worry the skin of earth
and tree. shed out
and sprawling free

end of night
downtown

i follow the arc of the tip
of your cig. you damned drunk!
and quietly stamp out
the berry

the screens

when the screens are off i
speak to you and
you listen

our feelings fully
articulated

thank god
we have a chance

readers take on my latest

i have shared my latest novella (not yet published) with three of five chosen readers, no nonsense folks (not all of whom are writers) whom i felt would give me an honest appraisal. i got a call from the only one who finished and held my breath awaiting the truth...

they really liked it!

they liked the rhythm and lyricism of the writing.
the setting was clear.
they cared about the protagonist and anti-heroic quality of her friends.
 the character development was solid.
 the plot kept them interested.
the end left them wanting more.

one of the areas i could work on, they suggested, is by limiting the time i spend in the headspace of my protagonist. they found these extended daydreams much less interesting and wanted me to get back to the storyline.

i am grateful for this critique!

the haunted 10 and 24

we rode a haunted train with skeletons
hanging off the engine for what i
thought was fun. i
did not know i was alone i
turned to smile and share the season and. you
had a distant look in your eyes partway
unmoored. the other passengers i asked
for help but they. they were lifeless in their
seats moved only by a rumbling
on the rails a hand fallen down off the elbow
and. and. and an upturned forehead.

 somewhere behind us
the terrible sounds the. the wailing of the winds
the cracking of some glass or why. why. why the sky
was dark now the steam streaming past
the glass and my heartbeat bumping up against
the ceiling. a lonesome solitary feeling as we long since
left the station to nowhere headed
racing

chicago. summer

this energy has welled
pulled us into the hollow
inside

this energy has shifted
can we trust it?

let's get up and go to the store
together. look at the clouds!

giving us all and the
trees a glow

i have fifty cents
i will buy you a
coke

like a control freak losing control

like a control freak who lost
control you could not
hold on

you had to
let go

scared you are
guarded

you see things you
never before
saw

breathe

it's better
this way

origin story

if you disentangle them
from the sweetest
songs

the roughest elements

you can fashion your
origin story from
there

and uncover who you
were

      and have
become

amelia

they still search for you
amelia

the grainy black and white
footage close to a century
old

i have found
you in my
heart

12 going on 21

why you were left alone so long 

only the spinning world 

would know

it hurts looking back. you made friends easy

 and what friends. a formula 

for trouble 

and trouble looks like anything

 but trouble at

 first

glam.

used to be hotels and nightclubs

 concerts and restaurants

 shots of light and whisky in the dark

 now i find the glam 

in silent early mornings cooking

 coffee ona stove

suck free

on the street the other day
a kid told me

people suck

i wanted to yet i

could not deny that they do

 

what if we all sucked up to 50% of the time 

on average? could we still have faith? 

 

we could dream of being 

suck free some 

day

friendship combo

what if you became we 

would the disparity between our worldviews 

soften? 

no more blame game

let us try making somethin outta what we have

 then if we succeed

we can celebrate our friendship

 combined

what made you. you

what made you
you

i thought how our lives would 

look without it

i would organize

i would protest

i would risk arrest and a violent 

reaction and a drawn out

incarceration

without what made you

 you 

 

what makes me me

 and us — we

 

cannot

be

hk

we see our flags in your streets we see

   your movement like ours

could not

     cannot be 

denied

hk

love hk. 4 what will not cannot be assimilated like you love your own uniqueness. love hk

try me

try me on a winter morning
try me in the fall
try me when your heart is yearning

something so familiar
what you thought was gone
what if it returned to you?
like some forgotten song

catching you unexpected
barefoot on the tile
sunlight found the shadow
god

its been
a while

4

4 were the ways

got us across the days

unscathed

4 were the winds

altogether kept us

centered

4 were the fires

could not be

extinguished

4 were the reaches

at the ends of

the earth

2 times

did i call out

to you

2 circles

overlapped

the birds 

upon the wire

they fell

took flight

and

the sky

the sky

the sky

water

yesterday. october 5

we rode on out to see the cousins down along the river road, into the delta and god was it beautiful, America on an autumn afternoon. we paid respects to your mom along the way. the sun would leave the cemetery sky red hot on its descent in the west. i never knew your father was an artist until you showed me his studio deep in the lot, behind the garage. there was a portrait of a beautiful woman on the easel, maybe the beloved in the beloved years? he is 94 now and lives with sofia the cavalier. they are pulling up the carpets now. the orange tree what with its lime hybrid is beginning to bear fruit. we shared baked beans and fried chicken and i listened to the story of his coming to this country, up from Mexico, hoping on some work and a couple hundred dollars to take home. a man convinced him to hop the freight train and go north, to Indio. from there they decided on Sacramento. the man got drunk one night and disappeared. that was three quarters of a century ago. old sacramento was a community of migrants. i wonder about the spirit and where does it go when somebody is no longer around?

4-5-6-7-8

the sun below ground at 4 o’clock

the sky could feel her

runnin in colors off a

glass



some kids got sent back to aisle 5 at the safeway

tryin to buy single coronas off a

six



i was searchin for my simple honeybee

bear and asked around. we found each other

in lucky no.7



across the street turned up 8 ounces

coffee. hot and fierce. not a bad start

for a day



not a bad start at all

stay present and you can handle

anything

goofy

I turned up the aisle with counterbalance of grocery baskets and indecision about toothpaste brands. I put my baskets down as you pushed a plush goofy into my hands which i figured you grabbed off a shelf. You told me you won it for me and pointed at those impossible machines, glass container full of toys and mechanical claw. I didn't believe you. But it was true!

lost to devices

cell phone city. 2019

eyes glossy and
zoned

smile like an upside
down sunset

we could not reach you
were lost to
devices

upside down sunset by katya

#wip

morning coffee and oatmeal, and the cool autumn air seeping through the screen to wake you up. today i will be out of the house from 8am-9pm. i have been sleeping well with the cool nights though my cats wake me up frequently but i'm used to it. my novella is in pretty good shape and hoping to send it out soon to some betas for a test read before i complete the next and possibly final draft. now that i have published 5 works under my name, i learned to stop forecasting the finishing, it almost always takes longer than i expected. the new novella has ZERO fantasy elements in it, as its grounded in turn of the century (millenium) action, circa 1999. this seems to be the time and place i gravitate towards. if i am ever to be known as an American author by a great many people, i can only hope they will appreciate my reflections of this era.

digital stitches

no more flying or driving we
leave it to the machines no
more surfing the oceans gone
plastic no more cash no more
paper we're all caught by the
web. no silence do not think
for yourself. creation is an
algorithm god is an intranet
dropping digital stitches ina
biodegradable post-colorful
world. amen.