emo.tion.al

i want to be a watercolor so i can wash away. i used to want to be a sharpie. now i was a stillness they could focus on. a moving stillness absorbing heat and sun and sky and sound. the city only a few miles away but i kept it real in my heart. i was easily aggravated. i got on wheels and rolled the fuck away. i had to leave it all behind regularly for freedom. these words they beat you up at night. you wonder how the mouths had the nerve to let them through the teeth. i forgive easy, ok, gimme time. happiness was once so easy to find. like an astronaut chicken in walmart. butter. tomato onion. pepper. garlic. now i was full of anxiety and depression. i could not seem to unrelate myself to them. i turned to fast food in the pandemic. i couldn’t change the channel. i had to learn to show an interest in the life around me. i took extra time lining my eyes with chocolate maybelline. i took great care with my lashes to make em look like japanese wood carvings of waves. i want to be a watercolor. so i can wash away.