lying

(remix of dys.phoria)

soft thin and lying against
a negative space

the air cool industrial alive

4 a moment we don’t have to care

how strange

secret messages penned by the rain

upon leaded glass

in a blanket on your couch
electric the infinite tenderness

#katyamills

eu.phoria

the world

whether or not you can keep up with her

provides random bursts

of euphoria

to live there a second longer

to live there to

live

#katyamills

emo al.so

negotiating the hill

to your home the emo

set a dangerous 

tone like an alto circling

a tenor who felt dead

alone in a cosmos 

the shy of heart never

known

#katyamills

k.ept

the left kept charging the right

kept charging the rain kept washing away

society and unrest

an honest condition

you kept coming and they

kept pushing 

away     #katyamills

@ the mall

divergent they
struck out for the mall
one tall the other small
hot topix for septum rings
starry eyes
jewelers bling. they
hearts got pierced where they wanted
without tears without
a flame the long and hard
adieu they understood
they were the
same

#katyamills

the one

momma brought them 

home

searching for they

name brushing

they soft and storied 

coat round they 

long and emerald

eyes

#katyamills

fluence

under the influence

a stubborn yellow light

in a ramshackle hollow

breakin the tight weave

of farmland a scribbler

may do they best work 

#katyamills

notes from a cardboard box

two story high 

imagination roams cream 

walls french vanilla

sky. entresol the cats

survey new lands 

from a cardboard 

box we have 

somehow

arrived

#katyamills

killing on 43rd ave

they sweep and mop they 

stock shelves they 

ring you up at the register they

deal with all american 

attitude. we call it the graveyard

shift for good reason last

week they left one to bleed

out for some 

change. god rest your very

soul

#katyamills

tuned out

twenty one suns 

one and twenty years 

into the so-called twenty first century 

none of the calculations 

had any true significance when 

you tuned the holy roman

empire out 

#katyamills

journey into the light

there there 

dry your eyes

the darkness drains from the sky

see how you were so certain?

so terrified 

the thoughts how they

lied

#katyamills

mach.ines

they would not let machines

take from life 

the mystery

the work 

that made them

honest

#katyamills

cassis

they found her 

still alive they loved her

they promised 

hi def pixels for eyes

cold brew coffee for drive

she prayed for a vertically 

integrated chassis they

dubbed her

cassis

#katyamills

hi.story

they never stopped 

scrubbing one could see 

their reflection in the silver

 nothing else. imagine centuries  

passing that off 4 

reality

#katyamills

off note

the dissonance caused by all 

the off notes touched a hundred 

thousand hearts who turned 

the radio up and swore 

someone finally got them 

#katyamills

run over

weightless the body

in flight. carbon monoxide 

swell of heat 

spun up so light the strange 

sound of brakes so late

they cheat 

staring down they 

fall in the winter off the 

wall of metal

sheets 

 #katyamills

book review

 

Katya Mills rated a book liked it My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

Read My rating: 1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars[ 3 of 5 stars ]4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars

Our antiprotagonist gets progressively mired in her chosen selfish sedentary life for a year. Like a life experiment with a careless interest in self-transformation, in NYC, 1999. She lies to her psychiatrist about her use of prescriptions for no apparent reason, as the psychiatrist has no moral or ethical compass to begin with, just a professional hiding behind a lot of jargon and bullshit. Ever met anyone like that? The character closest to real is her best friend Reva yet she is the most annoying and pathetic of them all. Materialistic. Superficial. Zero self-worth. Dependent on guys who use her. They both are. Maybe this is why they are friends. I liked the book, laughed a lot. Some very funny one liners. But not as much as Eileen. Maybe the main character was too sad and jaded. A product of her environment. Maybe it came too close to how life can feel in 21st century America when it's at its worst. When you give up and are rich enough not to have any responsibilities, and you care but not really.

visions

i saw visions

a porsche turning circles in the snow 

a man pissing on a brick wall barrows

wheeled over hay early 

dawn

i got chills 

a headache 

the light hurt my eyes i saw 

visions as the melody 

sorted out the 

birds

#katyamills

run on

chevelle on the lift 

hydraulics 

turtles in a fish tank swimming endlessly toward 

a rusty cogwheel tangential to the universe

the phone 

far less riveting 

full of the world tapped the skull 

instead they read 

a book 

#katyamills

faux pas

the misnomer the slip the drunken

tattoo the shaved head the misaligned 

teeth of reactionary fists. leave us the faux pas 

to combat these dull and senseless

perfections  #katyamills

profile #21

soap bubbles for eyes text bubbles 

for tongue corn syrup stomach 

marijuana cig stuck to sandpaper

lips. the screens 

crack and pop and whistle

words march across the tape it's twenty

twenty one

wash and stand up 

to the sun

#katyamills

super.fated

the sea surged the sky 

a charcoal gray against which

a ghost from the sub system's

incendiary furnace

materialized of sublimated metals

chromium iron cobalt

to lead the wretched

super state from 

the predetermined

fate

#katyamills

smile the sad goodbye

they wore out

fabrics to allay the troubling

times one of rayon one

of tested yarn and rope

one of pheasant fur and birch one 

of hope they 

wore out welcomes

made of clay

quilted cloak 

of sunless days they

smiled the sad 

goodbyes   

 #katyamills

you and i

pushing through a friday

cabbage and coffee grounds

span of paperwork cuts of dark 

chocolate. don't know how don't know

why i cannot stop loving

you

#katyamills

q.anon.ymous

affixed to a rail they 

pushed for the sky until the helium wore off 

they hovered between heaven 

and earth. the kids cut them free

wrapped them round 

the wrists filled them full of water

watch them break upon 

the sodden conspiracy laden 

heads

#katyamills

sudden pact

down on the luck they

came upon a forgotten 

patch in the city. they

felt sorta useless alike they 

made a sudden pact they

excavated and grew a 

goddamn tree for the whole

goddamn world 

to see

#katyamills

 

trajectory of suns

interior lands locked

upon a promise hollow 

wonder what and who

to follow. unable to see

suns rise and fall against 

the sea

#katyamills

48

given 1 day off 2 books 

3 shots of ristretto  

4 scratchers fanned out over a 5 mile road

sunrise kiss and a phone call i could

turn 48 forever

#katyamills