Boomtown

in the cool Nevada mornings

hiding beneath sagebrush scattering left and right

the quail shriek and travel in pairs

you can observe their cousins at the casino in Boomtown

who exhibit the same behavior upon striking

 a Keno jackpot

#katyamills

Carson City

the winds across the plains

waged war against the fences

the quail shrieked

the fences fell into the dust

the horses the tumbleweed 

steamed off toward mountain

streams

#katyamills

6.29 NV

in Nevada the horses roam wild 

early morning in search of food 

having found where the fences leave off 

they come up to greet you in this dry and 

barren land

#katyamills

how not to fight

instead of going round and around 

crowding light and making shade

behind impoverished excuses

like i don't like confrontation

we might revive the dying art

of listening without distraction 

speaking respectfully

creating space for acceptance 

if not downright mutuality 

#katyamills

#katyamills

coffee slut

our breakfast joint kicked us out. covid rules. paper cups and bags to go

so we sat down in the lot unwrapped our sandwiches and ate

a honda with a coffee slut bumper sticker was running up on the curb 

you got up and helped her park. she thanked you by standing there 

spouting how ukrainians are all nazis and vaccines give us covid 

her toenails bright ugly orange over my pastrami bagel

the best thing about being on the street is you're not a captive

audience   #katyamills

the form they took so pleasant to behold

i bought a glue gun

spread the pieces out on the coffee table to connect them

the traumas they ruptured my memories

then walking around town the questions were flying

where did you get such a lovely coat? how much did it cost?

trust me it's more than you are willing

to pay

#katyamills

proliferation of books

working i made barely enough money

to pay off the service repairs the utilities

groceries petrol clothes hair and nails

taxes insurance credit and mortgage

license registration renewals...

with what remained i

bought and gave away 

books

#katyamills

losers winners la la la

they was raised super competitive

like - kill kill kill!  

the rare times they won a contest they

 didn't really know how to feel

deep down they wondered

why cannot we all be cherished?

#katyamills

the ones who ought

they was obsessed and careless

and reckless. then it was over

they put a decided stop they

found a heart for living right

the long heavy shadows

blended. telling stories 

in quick short bursts. loving the ones 

who ought

#katyamills

 

the earth does all the heavy lifting while the sun just shines

the sun crossed the sky

everyone was amazed 

reminded her of her ex

didn't do a damn thing

and got all the credit

#katyamills

Hudson Bay. 1922

man against polar bear
man against walrus
against dog against dog
man against winter
man against time
against hunger

no need to be
against self

#katyamills

old model ford

we pushed past cobwebs

got her tires up. compressor plugged into the cig lighter

her battery would take some time to charge

so we all sat around together waiting on this old model ford 

the old man pronounced the virtues of a burro over a horse

when traversing mountainous country

how to get pure drinking water by digging a hole beside a river 

how the best place to hide 

when running from somebody

is the cemetery    

#katyamills

6.18

we got lucky sevens in the valley

sodas with paper straws we

took our summer with everything on it

the cars no longer sound like cars

the lakes are low the rivers 

high and we. for once we are

happy    #katyamills

buttercup

contractors pull up in trucks

on a summer morning

one holds the door for me 

at the café

i remember a boy inside a shirt 

a field of Ranunculus

holds one to my chin and declares

you like butter 

#katyamills

sensation

it was 1991. Nirvana and Alice had just released records

i was reading and drinking and writing and smoking 

watching the winds pick up speed

some bastard stole my bike so i 

got around on foot

#katyamills

Anna Karenina

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I did not love it. I liked it. I was able to conquer my attention span and read 1,000 pages. That was more enlightening than the book itself. Tolstoy of course - a master. You see him in Levin. You find the most honorable writing in tribute to the Russian peasants. They are like the true heroic figures of this novel. All the society crap Anna was destroyed by. So sad. So predictable and timeless. All countries' societies are the same. How people treat people. Drive some to suicide. Vronsky was very typical in many ways. A typical man with ambition and a sex drive. I hate how he left his horse to die and didn't seem to care. In a way he treated Anna the same. But not on purpose. Unconsciously. The peasants with their scythes clearing the million acres of fields. Laughing. Not caring. Working. Living. Beautiful the way Tolstoy describes them. Levin aspires to live with them before he gets married. Maybe even after. Anna's son and the scene where she returns to see him one final time - this scene is truly magnificent. Tolstoy's gem. The best thing I got from this book was humbled (as a writer). Also delighted. By the tour of Moscow, St Petersburg, and the descriptions of hunting and farming in the Russian countryside.

View all my reviews

fact 1

fact. you don't have to 

smoke the tires off your cars

to be happy. but some do

and some are  #katyamills

flower

as you fall in love you may find

less time for your friends who 

may wanna kill you for it so

be sure to bring them flowers 

from time to time if you hope 

to stay alive   #katyamills

Russian Ukrainians

they painted one another's nails 

the colors of the flag 

and while doing so they 

talked about the war and drank english tea 

and wondered when the men

were coming home

#katyamills

we are true

you took my hand you 

pulled me forward against the same old stories

surrounding us

they would always be made up

whereas we are

true

#katyamills

 

strawberry supermoon

the kids were playing video games all night 

like they were going out of style

the moon looked down from the sky. omniscient

a plastic breeze filled our lungs with particles

as we sipped our strawberry soda

out of paper straws. oh 

what a life

#katyamills

fighter

i went to see him

he was watching tv 

tired from work he did not want conversation

i silenced the commercials

it made him unhappy 

i wanted to share my day and learn about his

he got angry i 

threw the remote at him 

stomped to the backyard followed 

the clay painted fence

there was new growth coming up 

the round up could not kill it all 

nature is a fighter and 

so am i  #katyamills

6.11

the mortgage was due

the phone the electric and credit cards

the mercury rising we hit the store early

for milk and eggs and the happy baguette

i heard a song in the store and started singing 

along. a memory slipped away like a seal

off the pier deep into 

the bay

 

#katyamills

bird in mouth

 my cat waits on the balcony. all night he waits. in the mornings he waits. scanning the sky. swishing his tail. one day all of this intense focus and patience will end with a bird. in mouth. 

#katyamills

front end

i like to keep it big and wide open. the heart. let it thump out in front. you risk getting hurt that way. true. but mine's got that feature, the same one they put on new cars, whereby the engine angles and slides down when struck in a head on collision. even when doing next to absolutely nothin', i aspire to keep it real. give thanks and praise.  #katyamills

Redding 1

we met you randomly on the banks 

where the river was churning in a  

hydroelectric power play 

you told us your troubles with the law.

the domestics. the time you did

how you're not a bad guy

if they weren't lying and cheating

then... then what? then you wouldn't have

beat them? we wanted to toss you 

in the river to help you wake up

but we weren't strong enough 

to lift you  #katyamills

headwaters

we descend Mount Shasta to a city park at its base, where you find the headwaters of the Sacramento River. they say the snow water takes 50 years to flow through the mountain to this source. people carrying containers make their way around the mouth to the reach the cave the pure water pours from. a sacred place. from here the giant river opens up and irrigates the land. from Redding to Chico to Sacramento. across the Delta and down into San Francisco Bay. the days are hot and dry. this is the valley. we search for olives...trailed by birds. #katyamills

consistency of

we drove north for hours. spotting birds by their wing marks. coming up with names for bands. stopped at Granzella's for local olives stuffed with blue cheese and jalapenos. we played our first gig as Consistency of Jelly. we bit down on pit fragments to give our teeth that i fought the law look punk bands have. it was a righteous way to kick off Pride.  #katyamills

Shasta-Trinity

Redding, California

view from a second story window into a tangled semi-wild space surrounded by the Shasta-Trinity mountains. a choreographed movement. the shadows. from the trees. under the morning sun. superimposed on the earth. 

#katyamills

six six

a camaro pulled up next to my vw gti on the freeway like they wanted to race. i turned my head to look but the windows were tinted. i'm probably twice the kid's age, i thought. they pulled away and you could hear the engine. i appreciate the offer. i rarely drive dangerous anymore but i did when i was a kid. i played my music loud and got amped up. this car i got now, she hits a hundred quick, just by stepping on the gas. i'm older now and i prefer cruising. but i like how she responds. will get me out of any trouble i might be in. i don't drive much anymore. i don't wanna go hungry. yesterday, thirteen gallons cost me just shy of a hundred bucks. right here in california.

#katyamills