goblin mode

i changed gears until the chain fell off
in a land without bicycle lanes
roads without shoulders
a tire got punctured
some junkies came by hawkin stolen goods
i traded the bike for a cell phone
called for a Lyft
missing the hell out of the wheel
doctor

 #katyamills

Ukrainian joke

an explosion 

not far from Moscow

credit the Russians

smoking cigarettes 

again

#katyamills

mouth

she rustled around for small bills 

and change

poured the dregs of french roast down her throat

dressed in many layers she

limped to the store by her cane

not caring how she came off

her mouth would get her out 

of any trouble it got her in

#katyamills

cake

 the boy leaped

on to the swing laughing
over and over like a frog on the move
hair tied up tight to the top
of the head
after the chocolate
cake

#katyamills

library

 

the stillness

cut by the boom of a thousand

covered pages closing 

on a fantasy 

#katyamills

dodgy

dodge hemi pickup

rumbling and ready to roll

away from here

please say thank you

he told her. she was four times his age

thank you she hummed thank you 

thank you

the coke from the cooler

steady burning her 

hand

#katyamills

death of a koi

all the work was done and now 

she could rest

grabbed a pack and a beer 

sat down by the koi pond

counted the fish

heart stopped. it did not add up

a raccoon took out a beloved one of 

fifty some years and older than her

she cursed at the gods

and the gods they

laughed

#katyamills

un.known

there was no need for it there was no room for it there was no love for it. and yet they sought it out and pursued it with all their might. they walked out into the sunlight one day and stared at the shadows. an unevenness of exposure to light could make or break the composition. a keen and critical eye would detect it differently than another eye. a satiated eye. why couldn't the earth straighten up on its axis? the old urges had long been defeated. they had stopped making themselves up for nobody to see. everything was off from how they envisioned it. nothing would ever be exactly so. and for the first time ever they felt themselves small and insignificant. they relaxed around this knowing. there was a rustle and a hesitant movement into unknown territory. letting things be what they were and liking them.   #katyamills

neck of a swan

they thanked the divinity for the right to have it

they got all the feelings out. gave the scraps to the cats and dog

life was the neck of a swan

they went for a long walk to who knows where

the great beyond out there

#katyamills

11 stay

stay with this
salt it dress it season it
if you like
or leave it bare and taste it
truly

stay with yourself
your breath and
your life

all the horrors and
wonders

#katyamills

re.locate

unable to wash the technology
out of the system 

they left it all behind

acculturating to life 

in old growth forests
owls and creatures
mysterious textures and sounds
aspects of light that did not
burn 

#katyamills

nd kind

we found our heart and our fight 

there

where they condemned us 

#katyamills

11.26

i give thanks

seeing you get well

we never thought

you would 

i confess i too 

thought you 

a lost cause

#katyamills

swing 17

troubling to be

in the depths of a mood swing

narrow passage upon 

an ocean of feelings 

you drop to the bottom of a swell 

hoping to 

ascend 

#katyamills

pigeon

let us go out tonight

and drop our guards

may nothing terrible

happen

i wanna be there

with you for you

i wanna be there

solid as a penny

flipping through 

the air

out of this tired place

of comfort and routine

let us go out tonight

be with the pigeons

and shine

#katyamills

burn the wheels

catastrophic thoughts

churn through my head i

grab the nearest

bicycle and burn the wheels

off the spokes

#katyamills

un.blinded

senses dulled by time 

and heartache

they could no longer see no longer 

hear no longer grasp nor respond

to touch

they withdrew each morning

from an endless store of emotion

across the passing day they

gave it all away 

unblind in the knowing 

how to love 

#katyamills

live like

do not 

live like me 

for i

cannot i

will not

i would not

live like 

you

#katyamills

untimely

blood
upon the lips 

when i came to

untold hours
unconscious i
stayed up all night without
any draw toward sleep

i mistook the sun
for death and the
moon for the sun

my face
pale as unpainted walls

i wanted something 

i know not what i know not

how to behave

i know not

why

#katyamills

silence

like the greatest adversary

i once fought it. many are the ways to silence

silence

today it lives

among the things

i cherish most

#katyamills

one

do not be upset

for long dear 

youth

stay sturdy in 

your truth

#katyamills

november love

one bloody second

in love 

paled the bluest

sorrows

#katyamills

mozart

with mass

in c minor

we would never be the same

touched by

amadeus

mozart

#katyamills

past present

the diagnosis invoked tears
told they was stupid and slow
all these years
it atomized any need to apologize
being sorry was better than being attacked
the past still present
in they mind

#katyamills

legacy

leavin legacy 

behind 

i drift the solar 

systems 

young model 

outfitted  

for space

shot through 

the heart

by stars

#katyamills

opioid 11

 meanwhile 

we all get beat by time

cannot keep the body out of trouble

in the hardest of times we ask 

can i have one pain

killer please?

no!  - they rebuke us

licenses on the line

in the shadow of an opioid 

crisis

#katyamills

sense.less

a goldfish bowl

full of puppies sewn

with flags upon the floppy 

fabric ears was passed 

around

the missile 

flown up into the sky

on government tv

the classroom in rapt attention 

the austere faces of approval 

a trail of smoke

recess

a few boys ran 

behind the brick schoolhouse

and beat each other 

senseless

#katyamills

repo

when the repo came

to repossess

the sorry souls 

middle of making 

dissonant morning

love 

digress

#katyamills

sugar skulls

inside our sugar skulls

the thoughts hold the key

we mill them with cider

from apples in the tree

#katyamills

11.1.22

walking the thoroughfares alone 

on coupled nights catching the train

in time on timeless mornings

they tried not to jump to conclusions

by the time they got where they

did not always realize they were going 

they had had many revelations

#katyamills